What does it mean to really Respect children?

Having embarked on the journey of parenthood I was fortunate enough to discover the work of Magda Gerber. She was not someone I had ever heard of before, despite my many years as an early childhood educator but her philosophy and approach resonated with me on a very deep level and has influenced not only my parenting but also my professional perspective on young children and how we interact with them. In education we often talk about listening to children and hearing them but respecting them goes much further than this. Respecting a child for who they are, the feelings they bring and the needs they have as a individual can not only be hard but can also be quite triggering for adults and counter intuitive of our natural reaction to want to ‘fix’ things and to make the child feel ok. In order to truly respect a child Magda Gerber believed some key things were needed. One of these key components were for children to feel secure by having very clear and consistent routines and alongside this ensuring that adults talked through things that were happening, therefore involving the child in the process despite how young the might be. An example of this might be to ask an infant or toddler ‘Can I wipe your face with a cloth?’ rather than just doing it or talking through what is happening when changing a child’s nappy. Another key component was acknowledging a child’s feelings of upset, anger and frustration and allowing them to sit with these feelings whilst comforting them, rather than telling them they are ok or trying to fix it through distraction or other means. This may not come naturally to us but when this approach is taken it can have a profound impact on the value the child places on who they are, making them feel heard and seen whilst also validating the very real feelings that they are having. To feel validated and heard leads to a feeling of acceptance for who you are as a person, allowing the child to be truly authentic. "Having Respect for the world is when you allow people to be what they are." Magda Gerber

https://www.magdagerber.org/magda-quotes.html